This is what happens when you type in ‘blogley’ into Google:
2 days ago – Saturday. Finding myself in the town of Beaujeu on Saturday lunchtime I headed for the Tourist Information Office to ask about the local walks.
Dec 4, 2006 – Papayas, anyone? posted by BLOGLEY II at 2:53 PM 0 comments … My Youth. posted by BLOGLEY II at 6:01 AM 3 comments …
Dec 10, 2012 – The question I’ve been asking myself for a few month now is, who exactly reads this blog? This week the statistics hit 3000 visits since I started …
Blogley in Lyon is the Blog of Philip Ogley in Lyon. Contact: email@example.com.
And others. Obviously. It’s Google. 43,600 to be precise.
The first one, you’re no doubt familiar with. You’re reading it. The second one, BLOGLEY II, you might or might not be. So I can’t put this clear enough:
DON’T CLICK ON BLOGLEY II, HE’S AN INTRUDER!
It’s my intention to demote him so far down the list that he eventually falls off and onto Yahoo or some other search engine nobody uses anymore. But I’m not having any joy. People are clicking onto it and bumping him further and further up the list. It has come to a point where I must offer an explanation.
If you click on BLOGLEY II (don’t!), you’ll see a picture of me dressed in orange shorts, circa 2005, pushing a wheelbarrow of papayas in Venezuela. The next one is circa 2002, dressed as a transvestite jester. The next one dressed likewise alongside my old friend James Trickey going to a fancy dress party where everybody was dressed as Cowboys and Indians. And so on…
Once upon a time there was another Blogley. A mishmash of silly anecdotes, banal short stories and irrelevant observations (yes I know what you’re thinking). Some of you may even remember such ‘classics’ as Smashed and Stoned, The Lash-up Kings, The Lash-up Kings Revisited, I am Mr. Insomnia, Postman Bastard, The Cider Boys, and Drinking a Beer in Ikea (which incidentally won me £15 in a low-down student writing competition – for nostalgia’s sake you can read it here). I was young and childish. I was 34. But I enjoyed writing it. Maybe in a few years time I’ll say the same about this one. ‘I was young and childish. I was 38.’
Blogley Mark 1 has now gone. And so, I thought, had Blogley II. My big, stupid idea. A blog of silly photos rather than a blog of silly stories. A sister blog. The perfect accompaniment. Problem was I didn’t have a camera. So I used some old photos. All four of them. Then I shut it down. Or so I thought…
A few weeks ago, I saw it again on the Google results page. I can’t delete it because I can’t remember the username/password I created it under. I have discovered it was originally registered under a Hotmail account but I have no recollection of this. This is of no surprise considering the content of Blogley at the time.
You’ve probably clicked on BLOGLEY II by now to see me dressed as a jester. Fair enough. But whatever you do:
DON’T CLICK ON J BLOGLEY!
I’ll tell you about him right here. It’s a blog written in 2006 and has nothing to do with me. Promise. It goes like this:
World domination, does not come easy to some. Over the next few weeks, months or maybe even years, I will document right here on these pages how my personal plans are coming along. I will include details of my movements, lifestyle, achievements and meteoritic rise to the top of the heap.
Clearly things didn’t go to plan. That was the last entry…