143 – The Coypu and the Synopsis

I was taking a walk yesterday evening when I saw a whiskered animal plodding up the driveway. The human mind is fairly quick I think. Under normal circumstances, it can normally distinguish reality from make believe within a few minutes at most.

But this was a tough one. After five minutes of looking at it, I still had no idea. Was it a beaver, an otter, a dog, a hare, a ferret, a marmot, a poll cat, a creature from hell?

I ran inside and screamed to Elizabeth that we were being invaded by aliens.

‘Oggers, relax,’ she said calming me down. ‘It’s a Coypu. I saw it before from the bathroom window.’

‘What’s a Coypu?’ I stared at her.

‘It’s like a guinea pig, same family, from South America, they used to be farmed in Europe for their fur. Now they run free.’

It’s a nice story because it’s made the pond its home. Swimming about with its big head jutting out of the water like the front of a U-boat. Occasionally it dives and disappears for a good ten minutes before resurfacing in a different part.

I haven’t made my mind up entirely whether it fits in here though. It seems out of place with all the hares, ducks, deer, frogs, owls and boar. Like it’s gatecrashed a party and everybody’s too scared to tell it to sling its hook because of the size of its head. I’ll see what happens.

The other pressing matter this week has been my synopsis for my novel.

I’m entering it into a competition and I need a synopsis for it. So in short, I need to answer the question: what on earth have I been writing about for the last nine months? It should be easy. But it feels harder than writing the book.

It’s business writing I guess. Selling my product to the world. Why read this? No room for mindless rambling like in this blog. It’s got to be on the nail. No throwaway words. 300 words to sum up my life’s work.

This is as far as I’ve got:

‘Simon sells burgers to kids…’


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